Title: Sour Revenge, Part 29
Rating: Entire series is NC-17, though this chapter is PG.
Concrit: Very welcome in comments.
Disclaimer: The characters, story, and rating system are not mine and since I'm not making any money, nobody should care that I'm using them.
Summary: Whole series written for willowschild who asked for "A variant on what happened to Xander when he cast the love spell. Only instead of attracting all women it was all men and the only one who could break the spell was his true love."
Beta'd by kitty_poker1, who I can never thank enough.
Previous parts here.
Thank you authoressnebula for the banner and icon!
---"No thanks, Will," Xander shook his head and stood up. "I kinda just want to go home."
Xander was already walking away from the group, so he didn't notice them freeze in their tracks. The words echoed between the three shocked and confused heads. Xander wanted to go back home? After all that?
When he reached the door, he turned back to Giles, completely oblivious to everyone's reactions. "You ready to go, Watcher man?"
When Giles realized what Xander was implying, whether purposefully or not, he smiled. Xander thought of his apartment as home. He gave a half nod and grabbed his jacket. "Yes," he said. "Let's go home."---
This was all getting a bit old for Angelus. This club, this loud pulsing music, this whole ignorant town. He was sick of it all. He looked over the railing, down at the Bronze. Though the place was packed, Angelus couldn't find a single meal worth sinking his teeth into. He might as well just start eating rats again; these people were hardly any better.
"I swear, as soon as that Slayer and her ridiculous band of nerds are dead, I am leaving this place and never coming back."
Angelus continued to watch the swarm of faces below him, but he wasn't looking for food anymore. He would just pick someone up on the way home.
He heard a low hum coming from behind him. It wasn't part of the "music" that the club was playing, he could tell. This was quiet - getting louder - and it was moving towards him. A thud, and then the hum became singing.
"I'm a little teapot, short and stout. When your lips aren't on me, I might pout."
"Drusilla," Angelus muttered to himself without turning around. "'Here is my handle; here is my spout.'"
"I don't much care for Handel," she complained.
"Who does?" Angelus turned around. "What are you doing here, Dru?"
Drusilla pouted. "I wanted to play, but poor William was too distracted. He's all criss-cross applesauce, and you're not helping much with that." She pointed an accusing finger and scowled. Then, she quickly let out a bark of laughter. "You're both very naughty boys."
"Go away, Dru."
"Angelus is building a tower of cards. Jacks upon Kings upon Queens. He's got to be very careful or it'll all come crashing, crashing down."
Angelus scowled. "I'm not in the mood for this, Drusilla. Just do what I say for once and go away."
"Play nice or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your tower down," she snapped. "Then I'll play poker with the stars."
Angelus was annoyed, but he wasn't stupid. He knew enough to know that this was not an idle threat. His face morphed from anger to calm patience. "What is it, Dru? How'll you blow down my tower?"
Drusilla looked up to the ceiling at her non-existent audience. "He asked, as if he didn't know."
Angelus walked over to Dru and took her hand. Laying a kiss on her palm, he looked up at her and asked once more. "If you tell me, I'll let you try to turn a pony again."
Drusilla grinned. "The Spander boys."
"Spander boys?" Angelus frowned. After a moment, he asked, "You mean Xander?"
"Spander," she insisted.
"Spander... Ah! Spander. Spike and Xander. Spander," he repeated. "Nice."
"I know all about your Spander plans. Trying to separate them, like you just did. 'Spike and Xander.' William has found himself a love and you want to make his pet wicked, like us. But it's not about the puppy. It's about her. It always is. You think he'll kill her. You underestimate the angels."
"What have you seen?"
Drusilla looked away. A teenaged boy caught her eye and she smiled coyly at him. Angelus grabbed her head and made her look back at him.
"What have you seen?"
Drusilla tried to match the anger and seriousness on Angelus' face but only managed to do so for a few seconds before breaking out into laughter. "Brutus shan't be carrying a knife in this salad."
Angelus snarled and tossed her away. Within seconds he was out of the Bronze and on his way to one of the more hardcore clubs in town, where there were sure to be some junkies. He was in the mood to kill and he could use a little bit of a mental escape.
Sitting on a bench downtown wasn't the smartest thing to do at night in Sunnydale, but Xander figured that, with a cross, stake, and more garlic than you'd find in the pizza shop behind him in his pocket, he was safe enough. Of course, if a demon came after him, that was a completely different story.
Normally, Xander wouldn't be foolish enough to sit there, vulnerable and alone, but he was waiting for somebody who would hopefully get there before any passing demons felt a hankering for a Xander Sandwich.
Not that he'd exactly told Spike that he would meet him there. He just hoped that Spike would do that normal annoying thing he did where he just showed up wherever Xander was.
Xander started bouncing his leg and wondering if, perhaps, this wasn't such a good idea, but Spike, reliable as, well, never, suddenly appeared from behind him.
"Don't think it's a fantastic idea to be sitting there on your own, Kitten." Spike's voice was emotionless enough so that Xander couldn't tell if the pet name was meant as an endearment or sarcastic insult. Xander chose insult.
"Call me Kitten again, and I'll scratch your eyes out."
Spike snorted and grinned, so Xander grinned back.
"What are you doing here, anyway? Isn't it about time for all good boys to be tucked into bed?"
"Couch, actually. And I was waiting for you," Xander admitted.
"There's a nice change." Spike paused, then looked around. "Why here? I never come here."
Xander looked at him with a frown. "You're here now."
Spike shrugged. "I smelled you." He coughed. "From that Thai place you like so much."
"The one all the way on the other side of Sunnydale?"
"I have a sensitive nose," Spike said, tapping it for good measure.
Xander smiled. "You were looking for me!"
"Well, you were putting your life in danger on the off chance that I'd show up, so I think it was a slightly good thing I was looking, wasn't it?"
"Yeah," Xander said, still smiling.
"Why were you waiting for me, anyway? Thought you were still pretending to hate me."
Xander dropped his smile and looked at his feet. "I wanted to tell you that... that I told my friends."
"That's nice. Always be honest with your friends, s'what I always say. So, what'd you tell 'em about?"
"Us!" Xander couldn't help but smile with pride when he saw Spike jump at his annoyed outburst.
"Oi, no need to shout. Got sensitive ears, too, me." Xander just looked at Spike. "So, have I got to worry more about the Slayer, now?"
"I don't know. I mean, before, when she just wanted to kill you, you seemed to be able to handle your own end of the fight. But, now? Now I think she might want to talk instead of fight, so..."
"So I should be worried."
They settled into a comfortable silence. Now that Spike was sitting beside him, Xander wasn't too worried about being ambushed by demons. It was strange to think of what was classified by everyone as an Evil Creature as protection, but that's how Xander saw Spike at that moment. He knew he shouldn't be too sure of it, but he felt positive that if, at that moment, they were attacked by some sort of creepy-crawly, Spike would protect Xander. It felt nice, but so scary at the same time.
Spike was looking at him with a contemplative expression on his face, and Xander didn't like where that might lead. His anxieties were soon justified.
"So," Spike was saying, "if you told your friends about you and me, does that mean there's a 'you and me' to tell about?"
It was a poorly articulated question, but Xander knew what he meant, and he was hardly one to judge. Spike was avoiding his eyes, and at this moment, Xander knew he held some power over one of the oldest and cleverest vampires in the world. It was this power that showed Xander that, no matter how much he wanted to doubt it before, he really was more than a hobby to Spike. The cocky asshole of a vampire did care about him.
"I guess it does," Xander admitted, after a pause.
The words took a few moments to register, but Xander saw the shift in Spike's face when they did. Spike looked at Xander's face, and Xander could tell he was feeling very pleased with himself.
"You want to go somewhere?" Spike asked. "Not now, mind you, but some night. We could go out to eat, or maybe get a coffee? Like a... a thing."
"Yeah. A date thing. You up for it?"
Xander contemplated Spike's face for a moment before shaking his head, regretfully. "Spike, you... you kill people. I can't just overlook that. Yeah, I like you. A lot," Xander pretended to ignore Spike's self-satisfied smirk at that remark and continued, "but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I dated a murderer."
Spike frowned and looked away. After a few seconds, he sniffed and turned back to Xander. "I could stop," he said with false conviction.
Xander didn't pretend not to notice it. "No, you couldn't."
"I wouldn't hurt you," Spike insisted.
"It'd be like necking with Hitler."
Spike looked affronted. "I am much more attractive than Hitler."
"Yeah, you are," Xander admitted with a grin.
Spike grinned back. "Get a coffee with me. No big deal. No candles, no kissing, no sexiness, no genocide. Non-committal coffee."
The moment Xander ran his hand through his hair, hesitating, both he and Spike knew that Spike had won that round. Xander met Spike's eyes and ignored the intensity that greeted him. "Yeah, okay. Coffee."