Okay, so first I have a few questions that I want to get out of the way.

1) Is there any way a basic account user can put up an original header, or am I stuck with what I've got? I like this layout, I just don't want to have a header that I didn't create. I'm weird like that.

2) Is there any way a basic account user can change the layout of the friend's page and not the recent posts page?

... or am I screwed on both counts?

And, I said I'd update on RL here, too, so for those who aren't interested, look away now.

Earlier this year I was experiencing a terrible slump - one of the worst I've ever had. I was very uninterested in everything, very anti-social, and very lazy. I suspected depression, but seeing as how I've been feeling much better lately, I'm just chalking it up to a case of 'feeling blue.' Hopefully I'll never feel that down again. It could have had something to do with the last remaining of my cats passing away, but I was feeling down before that, anyway, so who can really say?

That was months ago, though. I've been getting much better. Made more friends, re-bonded with older ones, got closer to my family. I've even had some ideas for writing - fic *and* original. I just haven't quite gotten to the writing yet. Also, I still maintain the 'no writing until SR is finished' rule.

I'm also starting a project in which I'm going to read more literature. I was in Barnes & Noble today and realized how few books I've actually read. So I'm compiling a list. I'm going for well-known classics, so if anyone has any must-reads to recommend, please do!

I believe that's all that's up with me. So, how have you all been? I've been reading posts, but I'm still interested, if anyone has any new news.

Also, please help me with my layout questions! I'm rubbish at these sorts of things!

I have officially tagged my whole LJ. This means that you guys can subscribe to my Sour Revenge tag and this (through some process that I am to understand is not dissimilar to sorcery) lets you keep track of it without having to check my journal or friend me. I have many tags, so if you are more interested in icons, other fandom fics, or my rl-related posts, there are tags for all of those, and more.

Unfortunately, the Boxer layout doesn't let me display my tags, so I'm going to have to customize my journal. So, if you'll bare with me while I do that, I'll let you all know when the tags are see-able. I just wish LJ hadn't changed the way of customizing your journal; my choices are so limited now!

While tagging, I re-discovered what I had once called my "Howard" 'verse, for want of a better name. I have found that 'better name' and now it's called "A New Kind of Family." If you don't remember, that's the one where Spike and Drusilla had stolen a baby!Xander from the Sunnydale hospital and raised him as their own. I have many fics that I've started/outlined that I plan on continuing after I've finished SR, but I think ANKOF is going to be first on that list. Since it's not a real WIP, I can write single fics in that and post them with no responsibility.

Having learned from SR, I am very keen on the 'no responsibility' aspect of one-shot fics. No more WiPs for me. If I ever post anything multi-chapter, it will be fully completed by that point.

That's all for now. I have some vague RL news, but I'll put that in when I post the all-clear for the tags.

ETA: Uh... is it possible that free account users can't display their tags? Because I'm not seeing any option for it.

ETA part deux: Never mind. I see it depends on the layout you're using.

Me!! I did!!

I never won an award before, so excuse me if I seem a bit happy, but


EEEE!!!

Thank you, takhen for bringing it to my attention!


"Keeps true to characters, amazing writing,and the story flows easily. Description is good.
Love the way the relationship evolves."

I'm is happy.

Congratulations to the other winners and runner-ups!

If I didn't have so much to do today, I'd celebrate by writing more SR. Though, next weekend is pretty empty for me, if I recall...

My f-list seems to be shining up with happy reactions re: LJ's wonderful new ideas which completely keep users' happiness in mind and definitely don't slap us all in the faces.

So, yeah. Am I taking part in the strike?* Yes. Yes, I am.

Because, oddly, I don't really like getting slapped in the face. Weird, innit?

Also, I'm probably going to become more active in my InsaneJournal. That is, I'm going to start moving my fics and icons over. And I'll be double posting. (If you're reading this in IJ, then I guess you don't really need to be told that. :-P)

My biggest issue with completely abandoning LJ right now is that I know that LJ is more active in the fandoms, and I don't want to miss anything. Until the tables have completely turned, you can find me at either site.

( Sour Revenge News )

BTW... I'm pretty psyched about getting 100 userpics at IJ. Now I get to show off the pretties I've been working on for the past few months. :-D :-D

*I know, I know. As if I'd have posted that day, anyway, right?

First off, HUGE thank you to authoressnebula for the virtual roses on my user info. So pretty! Thank you, sweetie. *hugs*

Also, thank you to all who wished me a happy birthday. I had a very good day, so that was nice.

Now for a quick update on me, for those interested:

In the writing department, I've been a busy little bee, I'm happy to say. I have, as of right now, written the next chapter to Sour Revenge, written a little Jeeves/Wooster for skyblue_reverie's super-late birthday gift, and I surprised myself by writing a Life on Mars fic. It's Sam/Gene, but really pretty gen. All of these will be posted soon enough.

I've also been a pretty busy icon-making bee. Life on Mars, specifically. I've decided that when I finally get around to making that icon journal, I'm going to do single-fandom icon posts, and the first will be Life on Mars. After that? Well, I'll figure that out later.

I'm really glad that I'm almost finished with Sour Revenge. I went about that fic all wrong, and that definitely had its consequences. I've written myself into corners too often and had to keep putting off writing more due to my disappointment with myself and it. I've worked out most of the problems with it, but my love is no longer with this fic.

Like I said, though, I did write the next chapter, and I am going to finish it. I'm just also going to be very happy when it's done. No more WIPs for me.

I hope all of you are enjoying your summers and that you're not all dying from the incredible heat.

Hey everyone! I figured it was about time to do a post on the current state that is me.

A few people have been asking after Sour Revenge. I'm really flattered that people are into my story enough to make inquiries on their own and I feel more than guilty that I always take so long to get the latest installments out. I have the rest outlined and, if chapters stay basically the same length as they have been, the story is going to end in somewhere around six chapters. I have almost all of the next chapter written, so I can't imagine it taking much longer to get out. I am also working on skyblue_reverie's very, very late birthday pressie, though, which I'd love to get written for her before her next birthday rolls around.

Also, I'm thinking about creating an icon journal, which got me reconsidering my LJ priorities. Here's my plan for my LJ-life future:

The journal flufshepherd will be used for personal posts and for writing. I will not post any WIPs in the same way that I've done SR. From now on, anything I post will be 100% complete when I post it. That will hopefully ward off all frustration and guilty feelings. The free time I will then have once SR is all finished might go to icon making, which I find a very relaxing and productive way to spend time when I don't have any decent plot bunnies hopping around my brain.

Also, I hope to be able to start commenting more on my friends' posts. I know that I don't do it very often, but I do read all of your posts. I've never been the greatest at things of a social nature, so I never really know what to say and often feel like whatever I am saying is pretty stupid. It's a problem I've had for as long as I can remember.

I do read every single one of your posts, though, down to the last word. For those of you who have been going through a hard time right now, as I know a few of you are, I'm really, really sorry and I hope things start looking up for you. I'm here to talk to, if anyone wants.

And, lastly, Doctor Who? So intense. I am loving this show. I want it to be Saturday right now! Or, well, more accurately, Sunday, as that's when it's normally uploaded onto the 'net.

So, uh, does anyone have any suggestions for a name for my new icon journal?

You may or may not have noticed that I've been a bit quiet as of late. I'd put my money on 'not', because I'm usually pretty quiet, anyway. But, I have been more so lately. I owe e-mails and comments and I have no free time at all. In fact, I was going to make this post earlier this week but I didn't have the time to until now. I haven't even checked my friends' page in days. *weeps*

I did get a chance to watch House on Tuesday, though. I'd post my thoughts if I had the time. Maybe later. I am curious as to other people's opinions, though. So, please do pop by to discuss.

And, finally, some news on Sour Revenge for those interested. I know many of you have probably given up on me (I know I did, for a while there), but I may finally have a new chapter for you guys when I get back to my state of sanity. I also may have an icon post, but for that, I make no promises.

Now, before I go, I want to apologize if I've missed anything important by not checking my friends' page this week. For anyone having a bad time, I offer you *huge hugs*, but I do hope nobody needs them. Instead, I hope all of you are perfectly happy, healthy, and any other adjective that could describe the state of 'goodness' that I hope this post finds you in.

That's all for me. You may now return to your normal broadcasting and I'll return to my... very hectic life. *growls*

If this keeps up, I'm seriously considering leaving the House fandom. I don't know if it's because the general audience for House is younger or because the main character is a jerk and the fans are modeling themselves after him, but this is getting too far out of hand. In the short time I've been involved in this fandom, I've encountered more kerfuffles, trolls, and just general bitchiness than I've ever even seen in Jossverse. I don't think I've ever even come across a single troll in Jossverse, come to think of it.

Trolls are... so bad. They do what they do only to make other people unhappy. They really crush my spirits because they remind me that there are bad people in this world. It's probably stupid to let small things like that get me down but I can't help it.

And, no, I didn't just write this post to complain. Unfortunately, there are things to be complained about. And doesn't that suck all by itself?

Oh, and don't think I'm saying that all of the House fandom is like this. There are many very nice people in it. Brilliant writers, artists, and mods who clean up the trolly mess and make my friends page pretty again. For them I am glad.

Anyway, let's talk writing. The next chapter of SR is finished. Well, that is, I finished writing it. It still has to be sent off to my lovely beta, kitty_poker1 before it can be officially labeled 'done'. But, see, the thing is, I wanted to finish at least one more chapter before sending off/posting this one, so it wouldn't be such a long wait for you guys next time.

And that's where the problem lies. Everything I write? Complete crap. I don't know why. Maybe it's 'cause I haven't written in an embarrassingly long period of time.

So, to test that theory, I need your help. All of you. Give me a fandom (one you know I'm interested in, I don't care which), character(s), and a prompt. I'll force myself to write something for whatever I get and maybe I'll be inspired to get chapter 29 written. Sound good? Good. Now hit me with your best!

So, I just got a little comment in my inbox saying I've been nominated for the best Spander award at forbiddenawards! This is my first nom ever, so excuse me if you hear a very loud squee.

Of course, I'm against some amazing authors against whom I have no chance in hell, such as suki_blue, eyezrthewindows, and jans_intentions, but still! A nom! *dances*

*shows button with glee*



Congrats to everybody else who got nom'ed! authoressnebula, suki_blue, eyezrthewindows, and my lovely beta, kitty_poker1! Sorry if I missed anybody.

Thankyouthankyouthankyou to whoever nominated me!

Oh, and...

SQUEE!

Hey guys! I know I've been quiet. Forgive me? It's been a really busy week (if not weeks) and, though I've been wanting to make a post for a while now, I just haven't gotten much of a chance. I've had too much work and not enough time.

So, all in all, I haven't been feeling too great lately. Mixture of being over-stressed, over-worked, and definitely not getting nearly enough sleep. And, yes, that means I haven't gotten the next part of Sour Revenge done yet. I'm really sorry guys. You're probably all sick of these long gaps between parts. I'm really trying, but by the time I get to the computer at the end of the day, I'm already too exhausted to write anything. And it's *really* pissing me off because I do want to write. Not just SR but any of the other fics I've been writing/planning. I wanna write! *hates world for not letting me*

A couple nights ago, though, I was in one of those moods where I was too tired to actually do any writing, but still not enough to be able to sleep, so I kinda tried reviving my graphic-making skills. I used a promo shot for House and - I don't know if it could be considered a manip but I kinda altered it to be House/Wilson-y. I'm sorta nervous about posting it to any House/Wilson comm's because I've never done anything in the House fandom and I don't want my first contribution to be some crappy little graphic spurred on by insomnia.

So, I'm gonna post it here. I know you're not all into House at all, but I still want you guys to tell me what you think. And, please be honest. I can take it and I won't love you any less if you tell me it's crap.

It's completely worksafe and not even necessarily slashy. Could just be a friendship thing. Just... tell me what you think. Please?

Original picture.

( My House/Wilson... thing... )

*hides*

So, I've been meaning to do a status post for a while. I'm really sorry for my lack of participation on LJ. It's been a pretty stressful past two weeks. Usual story: too much work and not enough sleep. I'm going to aim to go to bed at a decent time tonight so I don't start coming down with something, but I think it might be too late. Oh well.

I haven't had a lot of time lately to be checking my friend's page, but I am working on getting all caught up. Please forgive me for my extreme lack of comments. To those of you who need (or have been needing) hugs: *hugs*. I'm so sorry for not commenting where I should. I just want you guys to know that I *am* reading your entries (even if a few days late) and that I do love and care about you all. I'm just a bad, busy girl. Deepest apologies.

And to those of you who were wondering when the bleep I was going to post more fic, I'm sorry about that, too. I have the next chapter of SR all planned out and started, but again with the busy. And it's not even like SR is my only project at the moment. I'm sure if it were, though, I'd be at least a few more chapters ahead. But, sadly, it's not and I have other, sooper sekrit projects that I'm working on.

But don't tell anybody 'cause they're a secret. =-D

Hope you all haven't forgotten completely about me. I've been really busy lately what with the holidays coming up. And this past week I haven't really had any internet at all. But I got it fixed! So yay! I'm back!

I wasn't really able to completely catch up with everything going on on my f-list. I managed to skim, but most stories I didn't get to read at all. So, my friends, I ask you to please fill me in. What's the what? Any of you write anything you want me to read? Don't be modest, point me to it! Every one, even if I don't have you friended back, what's going on in your life? I want to be back in the loop!

Also, I've been looking through the things I've written and I realized something: I'm not nearly as good a writer as I want to be. I have some excellent writer friends (all of you) that I'll never even come close to in quality. But I want to know, anyway. What are your secrets? I'm eager to learn. Gimme all you got. I really want to become a better writer and I'm surprised that I haven't thought of asking you all sooner.

Oh, and does anybody know if there's a way I can change my e-mail address on my user info, but keep my comment notifications going to the same place they are now? See, I want everybody to be able to tell that they can contact me at flufshepherd @ yahoo dot com, but I want the comments to be sent to my more personal addy. Anybody know if it can be done?

Hm... I think that should be it. I hope you all have wonderful holidays! I'll be thinking of you guys!

I've finally decided to get a new e-mail address to seperate my RL from my NL. This way, I'll be much more willing to give out my e-mail without having to worry. But, of course, with me being one of the worst decision-makers of all time, I can't choose what my new addy should be. So, with help of piksa I learned how to make a poll so you guys can help me choose.

Please vote. Otherwise, I'll never be able to decide.

Poll #591721
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

What should my new e-mail address be?

If other, what?

In other news, I am finally back in the writing mood. I'm going to try to write and finish SR 25 today. Maybe I'll even work on a few other projects I've been doing on the side. I hope not too many people have lost interest.

Wow. I'm in such a good mood today. I practically woke up smiling and dancing. And I looked in the mirror this morning and, even though I look the way I always do when I wake up, I just felt *good* about myself. I'm also feeling oddly productive. I don't think I've felt this good/productive in a very long time. It feels great!

And, while I'm already feeling so productive, I'm going to take advantage of it. I'm going to clean, write as much as I can, and bake. I also might do an icon post. I have a little over 60 icons waiting to be shared with the world and I figured, since a lot of people are getting more icon space, what better time to post them?

Okay. I'm off to straighten up my desk (which is long over-due for a tidying) and think about what I'm going to write.
*bounces away*

Hey everbody! I just felt like popping by, saying 'hello', and giving a quick update.

I hope nobody minds that I don't post non-fic-related updates very often. If anybody does, I'm really sorry. I just don't usually have much to say. Also, when I do, it doesn't seem important enough to clog up your f-lists.

Also, I'm really sorry that I don't comment very often on your posts. It's not that I don't read them, because I do. If I have you friended, I read every single one of your posts. Even when you post stories that I'm not reading, I still always read whatever is above the cut-tag. I just don't comment because I can never think of anything to say, or I just sound really stupid to myself whenever I do. But please don't think I don't care, because I do care about every one of you. I just can't ever show it without sounding like a big goofball.

And, in entirely unrelated news, yesterday was my birthday. I didn't update because I was too busy having fun and being elsewhere. I had a really great time and got lots of wonderful gifts. I also went shopping, but I don't think any of what I bought would really count as 'gifts'. But, anyway, here's what I acquired yesterday:

-Some DVD's (including Empire Records and Buffy Season 6).
-Lots of new clothes.
-Some guitar stuff. (Yes, I do play guitar. Betcha didn't know that, did ya?)
-A Holier than Thou cellphone, which, I may add, is the *coolest* phone invented by man.
-A cordless mouse.
-Hair dye for when this color fades.
-A Barnes and Nobles gift card for $30.
-A book shaped like a toilet.

And now, let's talk about my fics.

I was thinking about Sour Revenge and how I approached it, and I realized that I did it all wrong. When I started it I had no idea where I was going, how I'd get there, or anything else about it. Luckily, I have it all planned out now and I know exactly where I'm going. I'm just really annoyed at myself, because now that I know where I'm going, a lot of previous parts are a complete waste. So, now, I'm going to make a promise and you'll all be my witnesses:

From now on, if I want to write a multi-chapter fic (unless it's a 'verse that has no solid plot, like this one) I will not post any of it until I have all the parts written or at least planned.

There. That isn't going to include SR because I already started that fic and posted 24 parts, and doing that wouldn't be fair to the readers. But, any other fics that I'm working on at the moment will remain off LJ until they are ready.

Guess who's back? I'll give you a clue...

It's me!

I just got back and I haven't even started trying to catch up on my reading. I know I probably missed a lot of stuff while I was away, so if anybody wants to rec me any fics that came out when I was gone, please do. And if anybody made any important personal posts that I'd want to know about, please point me to them. I'm going to try and catch myself up, anyway, but I'd still love help.

My friends and I had a really great time. And I brought my notebook with me so I wrote/outlined a lot. I finally finished plotting the end to SR. So, now I know how it's going to end, but I still have no idea how I'm going to get there. I do have the next few chapters all planned out, though so hopefully the next part will be out soon.

I missed you all so much. I thought about you guys every single day. You have no idea how happy I am that I'm back and at the computer again.

And now I'm going to stock up on food and I'm not going to leave this computer until I am all caught up. It may take a few days, but I'm gonna do it. Wish me luck!

Here's more of that unnamed 'verse I started. I'm trying to think of a name so I can stop referring it to the unnamed 'verse and create a section for it in my memories. But, until I can think of a more suitable name, I shall call it Howard and I shall be its Mummy.

So, now, Howard and I would like to present:

Backyard Blues
Author: Me, of course
Pairing: Spike/Xander (sort of)
Rating: PG (That is, if this were a movie and I had the appropriate rights.)
Feedback: If I don't get it, I won't know you're reading and won't have much inspiration to write any more.
Concrit: Very welcome in comments.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine... Mutant Enemy... Joss Whedon... yadda yadda... don't sue.

Summary: Spike analyzes their situation and decides change should be made.

Warning: When the S/X factor kicks in, there'll be a bit of Daddy!Kink. If stuff like that squicks you, those parts will be appropriately labelled. This part has no incest.

A big 'thank you' to kitty_poker1 for beta'ing this.

In case you missed the first fic in the Howard 'verse click here to read it.

( Backyard Blues )
-------
On another note, I'd like to wish all the mothers out there a Happy Mother's Day! Hope you have a very special and relaxing time.

Hey all! As some of you may already know, I'm back on the 'net. I've caught up with all of your posts, too. I'm sorry for not commenting on much. In my defense, I had around 700 posts to read so I hope you all don't mind.

For those of you interested, I don't know when the next part of SR will be done. To be honest, I haven't really started writing it yet. I've been working on something new from the unnamed 'verse that I have decided to continue. I don't have much of that written yet, but it's been bothering me for this whole week, so it should come pretty easily and I hope to have it done some time soon.

I want to give that 'verse a name so I can put "Xander's Big Day" in my memories, but I can't think of one. If anybody has any ideas, I'd love to hear them. Just know that the entire fic isn't going to be written with Xander as a little boy. It's also not really going to be written in any chronological order. Come to think, I don't know much about this 'verse yet, so it'd probably have to be pretty vague. So, uh, any ideas? *puppy eyes*

Oh, and can somebody teach me how to make a poll? I want to take the titles you all suggest and have a voting thing at the end of the story so I can see the best-liked ones and make a decision.

And in absolutely no relevance, I've been making some icons. I really hope that I'm getting better at it. I already have a bunch done, but I'm going to wait until I have a few more until I post them so it may be a while.

And.... that's all the new news about me. *hugs* to you all and it's really good to be back!

I wrote this to try and get past my writers-block. I know, it's not SR, but I'm working on it. I'm having a little difficulty with it, so it might be a while more. Sorry about that...

Title: Tonight's Different
Disclaimer: None of it is mine. Non-profit... Joss Whedon... blah, blah... Don't sue.
Pairing: S/X
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: ...is always desired.

Summary: Spike wants something.
It's a bad summary, I know, but I suck at summaries.

kitty_poker1 beta'd this and is the bestest beta ever. She was nom'd for best beta at the SunnyD awards and when it comes time to vote, I expect everybody to vote for her ^_^

( Tonight's )

I have to take a moment and apologize to everybody who told me to stay strong and forget him (who is also him.) I have to admit, I'm not strong and I can never stop talking to the people I love, even if they were treating me poorly.

But, in my defense, I didn't go to him. He saw me and went out of his way to ask me if he could call me later. When I got home, we had a conversation about how he doesn't want to lose me as a friend and how he changed.

I'm ashamed for caving in, but I'm more ashamed because I'm so happy that we're friends again. I'm going to be optimistic and hope that this won't end with me hurting again.

And for anybody interested, I wrote some more SR today. Not enough to call a full part, but there was writing and many paragraphs were added, so now it's that much closer to being posted!

Also, I took authoressnebula's advice and I wrote the beginning to one of the other ideas I had. After that, I just kinda flowed with it and I got it more than halfway done. So, I'm getting somewhere, right?

Then there was this other idea. But this idea called for plot planning. I'm actually writing the outline using pencil & paper, abbreviating words and names and everything. Wanna know how long it is, even with the abbreviations? Two pages, front and back. And I'm not even done! I think you should know that I have very small handwriting, so this is definitally big for me. Also, I took up the margins and barely used paragraph breaks. That's how much just the outline was.

I think it's safe to say 'don't expect this done any time soon.'