Firstly, I'd like everybody to notice the icon I'm using. It was made by authoressnebula as a Christmas pressie to me. She made me another sunglasses icon, a wonderful Sour Revenge header, and another icon to go with it! I can't wait to use them. *squeezes Neb to bits*

In other news, I'm really pleased with the response I got to the Jeeves/Wooster fic I posted. It did much better than I'd expected it to. All of these fics are getting such great responses and it's really fabulous. I'm extraordinarily pleased.

This is the last one of the batch. It's Spike/Xander, requested by lishel_fracrium who asked for, "season 4 or 5..but no anya..truth or dare with drunk scoobies..Xander's never kissed a guy. S/X." Hope this is what you had in mind, sweetie!

And, before I post the fic, I'd just like to make it known that I did not choose to post this today because of the neat pattern it'd make on my calendar. *whistles innocently*

*is a big loser*

Title: Truth or Dare
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1499
Feedback/Concrit: Would be adored and cherished.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. This is not for profit. Consider all disclaimed.
Warnings: None.
Summary: What happens when you try to make Spike play 'moronic games'.

Beta'd by kitty_poker1, for whom I'd try to find the words to describe how magnificent she is, but, sadly, the thesaurus doesn't have enough synonyms for 'marvelous'.





If there was ever a time to really wallow in self-pity and self-hatred, it was now. Spike sat, tied to a chair in Harris' malodorous, humid and all-around disgusting basement, surrounded by the Slayer and her merry band. He remembered a time when he was feared, when his name summoned feelings of panic and dread. And now, this girly bint and her idiotic friends had brought about his downfall to the point where he was now sitting in a dank room, surrounded by drunk, teenaged crime fighters playing truth-or-dare and painting each other's toenails. And, yes, that did include Harris.

Red's attention turned to him and her face lit up with sudden inspiration. "Spike! Truth or dare?"

Spike rolled his eyes. "You've got to be kidding me. I'm not playing your moronic games."

"Oh, c'mon! It's fun!"

The Slayer, who was previously lying down by the foot of Xander's bed, sat up and crawled over to Spike. "Don't be a party pooper, Spike," she said, slapping him on the leg.

"Oi! Keep an eye on that Slayer strength of yours. And have you all gone completely mad? I'm evil. Evil people don't go around playing school-girl games with their enemies."

The girls looked pleadingly at Xander. "Xanderrrrr, make him playyy," the witch whined.

Spike frowned. "What makes you think he'll be able to convince me?"

Xander shrugged and stood up from his bed. "Spike, if you play, I'll let you have a beer."

Now, Spike may have been evil, but he was not an idiot. "You've got yourself a deal, mate," he agreed. "But it better be the good stuff I know you've got hidden in your closet. Not that watery shit you've all been pouring down your throats all night."

The girls sent accusing glances at Harris. "You've been hiding good beer?"

"I may have stolen one or two things from that bar I worked at on campus." He turned to Spike. "How did you even know about that, anyway?"

Spike shrugged. "Got a nose for the stuff."

The boy gave him a disbelieving look and went over the closet to get him his reward while the girls giggled and whispered to each other.

"Okay, Spike," Red was saying, "truth or dare?"

Spike rolled his eyes and waited for Harris to give him the beer. When he finally came over with the open bottle and handed it to Spike, Red asked him again.

"Oi! Untie me so I can drink this!"

Xander, who was walking away, turned around and gave him a look. He walked back over to Spike and took the beer from his hand.

"Say, 'ahhh'," he said, grinning.

"Oh, you've got to be joking," Spike sneered.

Xander just waved the bottle in response. Finally, Spike consented and let Xander pour the beer directly into his mouth. It was slightly uncomfortable, but Harris seemed pretty good at this and was able to tilt the bottle at the perfect angle so that Spike could drink without having to take large or small gulps. When Xander stopped and pulled the bottle away, Spike grinned and let out a relaxed breath.

"Truth or dare, Spike," the Slayer asked, impatiently.

"You know you're going to have to stay standing here, don't you?" Spike was asking Xander.

"I'll deal," Xander replied shortly. "If you don't answer them, though, you don't get any beer, and I'll get to sit down."

Spike narrowed his eyes at him. "Fine. Truth."

The girls looked at each other and giggled. Spike rolled his eyes and tried not to vomit. He gave Xander a look and a nod, and Xander let him have a few more gulps of beer.

"Which of us do you find most attractive?" Buffy asked. Willow shot her an angry glance, which showed Spike plainly who she thought the answer was going to be. The Slayer just sat there smiling arrogantly, which showed Spike that she didn't think the answer was going to be anything different. Spike grinned; he'd surprise them both.

"Harris."

Xander, who had been concentrating distractedly on his hand, looked up. "Hm?"

"No, you stupid sod. That's my answer."

"What?!" shrieked three equally high voices.

"What were you expecting?" Spike asked, knowing full well what they were expecting. "So far, he's the only one who hasn't giggled like a high-pitched loony. And he's giving me beer. That's enough in my book. Speaking of which..." he said, with a nod. Xander, whose face was growing bright red, put the bottle to Spike's lips and gave him more drink. "So. 'S it my turn?"

Buffy gave him a short nod. It was obvious she was a little put off by not being called the most attractive person in the room.

"Right," Spike said. "Slayer. Truth or dare?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "Dare," she said, trying to show Spike that she wasn't afraid of him in the least.

"Good," Spike said, with a grin. "I dare you to never, ever kill or harm me in any way."

"I can't do that!" Buffy protested.

Willow shrugged. Spike's mouth quirked upwards; she was still mad at the Slayer for the question she'd asked. "You did choose dare," she said simply.

"Yeah," Spike agreed. "You chose dare." He nodded to Xander and was rewarded with another drink. Then, to Willow, he said, "You're right, Red. This game is fun."

Buffy frowned. "Fine. Now it's my turn. Spike," she said, with particular venom, "truth or dare?"

Spike grinned mischievously. "Dare. Do your worst."

Now, the Slayer matched Spike's grin with one of her own. She stood up and whispered something into Spike's ear.

"Oh, sure as hell not!" Spike protested.

"You have to," Buffy countered. "Xander, doesn't he have to?"

Xander shrugged. "Yeah, whatever."

Buffy grinned and Spike rolled his eyes with an angry growl.

"Fine. Harris. Truth or dare?"

"Don't you have to do your dare first?" Xander protested.

Spike sighed. "Can't do it yet."

Xander frowned and shifted uncomfortably where he was standing. "Dare," he said, finally.

Spike looked pleadingly at Buffy, but she just smiled and waved for him to go on.

"I... I dare you to...," he grimaced. "Sod it, I'm not doing this."

"Spike!" Buffy shouted. "You have to!"

Spike shifted into game face and growled at her, baring fangs.

"Yeah, that's real scary," Buffy said, with a fake shudder.

Spike let out one more growl before shifting back. "Harris. I dare you to kiss me."

Xander's eyes nearly fell out of head, Willow yelped in surprise, and Buffy started laughing hysterically.

Xander shot an angry glare in Buffy's direction and took a large gulp out of Spike's beer. In what seemed like slow-motion, Xander placed the bottle down on the floor and walked over to stand in front of Spike. He leaned down and shut his eyes. Spike couldn't tell if he was doing it as a natural reaction to kissing, or because he didn't want to see who it was that he was going to kiss.

When their lips finally connected, Spike heard three different sharp intakes of breath. Xander's lips stayed stationary against his, so Spike stuck his tongue out to trace Xander's lips. He wasn't sure if he did it because he wanted Xander to wake up from whatever trance he was in and bugger the hell off, or because, well, he wanted to. He decided to go with the first reason and smiled when Xander's head shot back.

Buffy's eyes met Spike's and she finally stopped laughing. "Do you still think Xander's the most attractive person in the room?"

Spike grinned. "I think I'm the most attractive person in the room, pet. But, besides that...," he leered at Xander, "all the more."

Xander looked away and drank another gulp from Spike's beer. "I think we've played enough," he said awkwardly. "I'm suddenly struck with the urge to skip directly to the part where I wake up with a huge hangover and can't remember anything."

Buffy and Willow stood up to go. "I've got to go do one more sweep before going to bed, anyway," the Slayer said.

"Yeah, and I have to take a cold shower. Like, now-ish," Red said, quickly, before practically darting out the door.

After the Slayer followed her friend out, Xander and Spike were suddenly aware of how empty the rest of the room was. A moment of awkward silence followed.

Soon, Spike broke it. "Mind letting me finish that beer now?"

Xander put the bottle back to Spike's mouth and Spike couldn't help but notice that it tasted faintly of Xander's mouth. He also couldn't help noticing that Xander's other hand was resting on Spike's shoulder, stroking it slightly with his thumb. Spike wondered if Xander was even aware of it.

That night, when Xander was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and Spike was still tied to the Barcalounger, staring at the ceiling, something happened that neither ever felt the need to mention again.

Xander got up and untied Spike.